Category: Uncategorized

Sally Kellerman’s…do whut??

You can call it “the Sally Ride” for short, if you wish. It will happen Saturday 1 June, the night before Sally Kellerman’s birthday.

Here’s the setup: Sally Kellerman (1937-2022), fresh from her Oscar-nominated performance in M*A*S*H, teamed up with director Robert Altman for another film, Brewster McCloud. In this dark and profoundly weird 1971 cult comedy, Kellerman plays Louise, an enigmatic bird-woman who coaches young Brewster (Bud Cort) in his efforts at human-powered flight. Louise and her bird friends also have a knack for shoplifting and homicide.

It’s important to note here that Brewster lives in a squat apartment in the fallout shelter of the Astrodome. Brewster McCloud is one of the first feature films to be shot primarily in Houston, Texas; it was also probably the most Houston of the dozens of movies shot or set in Space City. It covers a lot of local ground, with scenes in and around the Dome, Hermann Park, Sam Houston Park, Downtown, Westbury, the future Galleria area, and the railroad track that used to cross Brays Bayou near Ardmore Street. It also marks the cinematic debut of Waltrip High School alumna Shelley Duvall as an Astrodome tour guide Suzanne.

M*A*S*H is famous for, among other things, the scene in which Hawkeye and Trapper John bring down the shower building while Major Margaret O’Houlihan (Kellerman) is mid-shower. Brewster McCloud is not quite as famous (it did not garner any major nominations), but its most iconic moment is Kellerman’s scene in which she bathes nude in Mecom Fountain, splashing around joyfully like one of her bird friends.

To commemorate the late Ms. Kellerman’s birthday, the plan for this ride is to start in Hermann Park, proceed to the Astrodome, and return for a dip in Mecom Fountain. Recommended dress is swimwear or something else you don’t mind getting wet. It may be a good idea to have a towel with you.

Mecom Fountain is located in a roundabout, and access to it is difficult (and somewhat dangerous) for pedestrians or cyclists. We will devise a way to make it safer and easier. Be advised that the floor of the fountain may be slippery, so exercise caution if you decide to take a birdbath.

We will also have a Plan B in case Mecom Fountain is turned off or empty.

According to clothesfree.com, the two bills aimed at stopping events like World Naked Bike Ride in Wisconsin have failed to pass. As reported here recently, the Republican majorities in both houses of the Legislature introduced and supported the bills, but the Democratic governor had stated that he would likely veto them. The state Assembly adjourned before the bills could be brought up on the floor for debate. The Madison and Milwaukee WNBR’s should be able to proceed this summer without a legal cloud hanging over them.

Here in Houston, where we have hosted one or more WNBR’s every year since 2011, it must be said that we have a history of riders participating in the World Naked Bike Ride in a state of nowhere-near-nudity. This is odd, given that the climate here is too hot for clothing most of the year, but understandable: The fear of arrest for violating the city’s public nudity ordinance is legitimate, even though we’ve (fortunately) never had an arrest, and only one rider has ever received a citation (caught nude by police in front of Super Happy Fun Land before the ride even began).

Pressuring individual riders to undress, or even suggesting it, is a violation of the Principles of Consent under which we operate. Even though we recognize that nude cycling is not a sexual activity, there are usually sexual motivations behind asking participants to strip off and continuing to do so after being told no.

The dress code for the ride remains Bare As You Dare; if that means you’re down to your undies, that’s wonderful. Those who keep their outerwear on during a World Naked Bike Ride are really missing the point though.

To get more people to push the Bare As You Dare envelope, a better strategy is to provide information to “sell” them on it. Here, then, are some talking points for riders who need convincing, to be presented to the general crowd rather than any individual.

The Existential Threat of Climate Disruption

This ride is a public demonstration against policies and practices that result in accelerating climate change, which is causing more extreme and deadlier weather events. In the face of that, the concern that people might see your personal bits is rather small.

If You Are Still Worried about Someone Seeing Your Nude Body…

Maybe someone saw you, or photographed you and put your naked image on the Internet for all including your boss and your mom to see, but no one has to know for certain that it’s you. You can easily mask your identity with face and body paint, a wig, a bicycle helmet, and (especially on a daytime ride) sunglasses.

The Law

As mentioned above, riding nude carries an element of legal risk in a place like Houston, Texas. The public nudity ordinance makes no exception for protests protected by the First Amendment. However, in 13 years and more than 20 rides we have had no arrests (though once a rider got separated from the pack and came close to getting taken downtown), and only one citation, which was overcome in court. Individuals are vulnerable, like the young gazelles in the back of the herd who have trouble keeping up. A tight, organized pack of nude riders is far less susceptible to interference by The Law.

The more people ride bare or nearly bare, the less likely any law enforcement officer is to make trouble. At most the LEO will say, “Dude, put some clothes on.” If instructed by someone with a badge to cover up, one should cover up, and wait until it is safe to uncover again.

Lastly on this topic, the statute in Texas (Section 21.08) regarding public nudity/indecent exposure is laughably vague. Prosecutors must prove the “intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person, and [recklessness] about whether another is present who will be offended or alarmed by his act.” Again, there is no exception carved out for protest activities, but if the matter comes before a judge, that judge may be convinced that freedom of expression trumps a vaguely written law.

Nude Is Not Lewd

As long as you’re not visibly attempting to pleasure yourself in public, nor thrusting your parts in someone’s face, then you are engaging in non-sexual nudity. People, especially in the US, need to learn that nudity is not sex, and that nudity isn’t even a requirement for sex. At least in places like Seattle and Portland OR, society in general takes a more European attitude toward non-sexual public nudity.

OMG Think of the Children!

OMG, come on. Being nude and seeing nude bodies of various sizes and types are both psychologically beneficial—yes, even for children. Inheriting parental neuroses about seeing people’s floppy bits is not healthy. This article discusses that very topic in depth, although you have to read pretty deeply into it to see the psychological research findings pointing toward those benefits.

If anyone objects noisily to your naked presence (which has happened a few times on our rides), it’s not worth engaging such people in a debate. You could make a succinct case for the mental and emotional benefits of getting naked, but the objector probably wouldn’t buy your argument. Just tell them you’re engaging in a protest activity protected by the First Amendment, and you’re not harming anyone.

Again, shouldn’t we be more offended by anthropogenic climate disruption and cyclists getting killed by reckless drivers than by the site of someone’s pubic region?

Ah, the Sheer Exhilaration

There is no exhilaration quite like that derived from cycling through the city in the buff and getting away with it. This is particularly true when riding through entertainment districts at night, as the Houston and Austin rides generally do. Night owls on the street make excellent cheering sections for a naked ride.

Anything We Missed?

If you have additional selling points that you’d like to share, please feel free to put them in the Comments section. These points should not include verbiage like People should get nekkid cuz I like to see boobs/dicks LOL!!! Certainly, everyone can benefit from seeing more people in their natural state, but it’s about the whole person, not just the parts.

The Los Angeles and Milwaukee WNBR groups have both announced that their 2024 rides will take place on Saturday 22 June, times and places to be determined. The relatively new ride in Milwaukee faces the prospect of taking place (or not) under a change in the law that would prohibit such activities, even in the form of a First Amendment–protected protest.

As of early February, we can find 2024 WNBR dates set for six cities in North America: Los Angeles, Madison, Milwaukee, Montréal, San Francisco, and Toronto. Madison and Milwaukee are pushing ahead with plans to hold rides despite Republican state legislators’ recent attempts to ban public nudity, particularly where children might see nude adults.

(UPDATE 26 February: The Assembly adjourned without bringing the bills to the floor. For this year at least, it appears that the Madison and Milwaukee rides will proceed without a legal cloud over them.)

Two bills got part-way through the Wisconsin Assembly and Senate in 2023, but were not passed by both houses by the end of the year. The bills have been revived for 2024, and both have already passed the Senate as of mid-January. The vote was almost entirely along party lines, with the Republican majority voting in favor.

Per the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

One bill would change the language in state law from “indecent” exposure of genitals in public to simply “intentional” exposure, with exceptions for breastfeeding or diapering a baby. Under the bills, violations would result in a Class A misdemeanor, which carries up to a $10,000 fine, nine months in jail or both.

The other would prohibit people from allowing minors to attend “an event at which a group of adult participants intentionally expose their genitals, buttocks or other intimate parts in a public area.” It would also prohibit taking pictures of nude children at the event, unless for the purpose of reporting it to police within a day.

jsonline, 16 Jan 2024

The latter bill arose from loud, shocked complaints about a photo of a minor girl participating nude in the Madison ride.

In the Assembly, the bills to watch this year are AB 503 and 504.

Even if the bills pass both houses this year, according to the article quoted above, Democratic Governor Tony Evers has hinted that he would veto them.

While Democratic Gov. Tony Evers has told reporters “it’s probably not a really good idea” for children to participate in the event, he expressed doubts about “litigating and legislating things that frankly don’t need it,” indicating the bills could receive his veto.

The Madison and Milwaukee ride organizers have pressed on as if none of this legislative activity is happening, not even acknowledging the possibility of a ban on their respective websites. Madison’s site shows a date of Saturday 15 June for this year’s ride. The Milwaukee site, with the new domain wnbr-milwaukee.com, shows a ride scheduled for the following weekend on 22 June.

For the record, WNBR Houston organizers believe that people in general, including children, benefit from healthy exposure to nudity much more than they are harmed. A large part of this nation’s neurosis concerning nudity results from not seeing enough of it and viewing the human body as shameful. Other countries—and parts of North America—where nudity is not stigmatized tend to have much healthier attitudes toward sexuality as well. As long as the nudity is not sexualized or forced on the children (don’t thrust your parts in the kids’ faces), the sight of bare bodies of various sizes and types helps young people develop a positive body image.

The WNBR organizers in Toronto, Ontario, and Madison, Wisconsin, have scheduled their 2024 rides there for 8 and 15 June, respectively. The Toronto ride starts at 1 pm on the 8th, with gathering and preparations beginning at noon. Madison’s riders start gathering at 9 am and ride at 11.

Other than San Francisco, these are the first ride dates to be announced in North America for 2024. The standard date is on the second Saturday in June, but practical considerations (including global heating) have spread North America’s season all the way into October.

Those interested in participating in the Madison ride should view and digest this FAQ document (PDF), featuring an invitation to join Madison WNBR’s group on groups.io.

World Naked Bike Ride in San Francisco, California, is now more of a subscription series than a single event. The organizers at WNBR-SF have scheduled five official rides for the 2024 extended season.

Big rides such as London, Melbourne, and Cape Town have already selected their 2024 dates: London on 8 June, Melbourne and Cape Town around the usual Southern Hemisphere dates in March. Sydney’s ride happens on 21 January (?). But so far nobody has announced a quinella of naked rides like San Francisco.

Because of the environmental activist angle that WNBR takes, we cannot recommend traveling a great distance just to participate in any of these rides, or the concurrent events such as the Bay to Breakers run. If an event is on your bucket list and does require travel from outside the Bay Area, we recommend the most fuel-efficient conveyance possible: Amtrak. Take your bike onto the train—in the designated baggage car with a bike rack for bicycles up to 50 pounds—and go!

Also, if you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. (Yeah, it’s a cheap joke. But you’re gonna meet some gentle people there.)

All these rides are Saturday events. See the San Francisco WNBR Wiki for times and places. (See also the UPDATE below.)

1. 10 February, coinciding with the Winter Love Parade. The Love Parade is the SFO-OAK area’s adaptation of a big clothing-optional hippie-type event in Berlin that (to the best of our knowledge) no longer happens due to a tragic death at one event.
2. 20 April, for Earth Day, because, in case anyone has forgotten, WNBR is a protest against climate chaos and deadly polllution caused by extraction and consumption of fossil fuels.
3. 18 May, the Bay to Breakers weekend (or, as the Nude community calls it, Bare to Breakers).
4. 8 June, the main ride, during the original standard second weekend in June.
5. 28 September, for Autumn Equinox (a bit belatedly) and the Folsom Street Fair. Communications from SF-WNBR originally said it was on the 21st, but now Folsom has a firm date the following weekend.

According to the wiki page, WNBRers in Greater SFO will also participate in the annual New Year’s Day Polar Bear Plunge, Monday 1 January at 11 am, Great Highway and Taraval Crossing. (IYKYK, we can only suppose.) UPDATE: However, an organizer in San Francisco assures me that this event is not part of the official SF-WNBR schedule, but one posted by a usurper who happens to have the credentials for the wiki.

We didn’t get an actual count, but from a quick scan of the crowd gathered inside the tarp wall at Bohemeo’s, we numbered at least 100 riders and skaters. That would make 2023’s edition the biggest WNBR Houston has seen—and, in the opinion of a few WNBR veterans, the best. You can try counting the folks who posed for the pre-ride photo below. (All photos by David Loredo.)

Big Thank-Yous

The H-Town WNBR crew would like to thank the following people, places, and groups for contributing to the awesomeness:

• Bohemeo’s (especially Nicole, who books events there)
• Super Happy Fun Land
• Lola’s Depot
• Buddy’s
• Houston Eagle
• Black’s Bodega
• Pride Ride Houston
• Space City Skaters (about a dozen of whom joined us and made us that much prettier on aggregate)

We would also like to thank Bike Houston and the City of Houston for their collaboration in planning and constructing a network of bike lanes, especially inside Loop 610. This ride highlighted bike lanes on half a dozen streets. These not only protect cyclists from automobiles, but make it easier for cyclists to get out of motorists’ way.

Recommendation: If you’re riding your bicycle, and the city has spent thousands of taxpayer dollars to put a bike lane where you’re riding, use it. The lanes are there to make the streets safer for everyone. You still need to be mindful of motorists making turns as you cross intersections, since so many drivers never learned how to interact with bicycles.

The Journey

These rides almost never go off without a few bumps along the way. There were one or two haters, an uninvited photographer trying to ride along with us, and some mechanical issues with bikes. But we didn’t lose any riders to the treacherous surfaces of Houston’s streets or overindulgence in adult beverages. Only a few participants dropped out before the end.

Bohemeo’s served as host for our paint-up and preparations. Several of the facilitators hung tarps around the covered patio there to protect us from gawkers and self-appointed cell-phone paparazzi, as well as to “protect” patrons from our naked bodies. We are happy to report that, at least it appears, Bohemeo’s is willing to welcome us for future rides. We didn’t leave to large a mess, and we complied with their request not to enter the bar itself without covering our parts.

We took off a little after 8 pm and made our usual one-mile pause at Super Happy Fun Land to check for the aforementioned mechanical issues with bicycles (or riders). The pause lasted longer than it usually does due to a poorly attached wheel on one rider’s bike.

Next came a rather lengthy leg of the route, about 4.5 miles, passing the entertainment complex in Midtown (too early for many club patrons there to see us) and ending in the Montrose Gayborhood. We distributed ourselves among three local bars within a block or two of each other, all of which had expressed support for the ride.

After reassembling, we rode up Montrose Boulevard to the site of Shane McKinney’s Ghost Bike on West Dallas Avenue for the traditional remembrance ceremony, including the pouring of a libation. Then we continued through downtown to the Warehouse District, stopping at Black’s Bodega to purchase beverages and whatever else. The Warehouse District just north of Downtown has been undergoing some dramatic changes recently, with large apartment building just completed or under construction. There wasn’t much foot traffic on Sterrett Street, so it became Temporary Autonomous Zone for us Bare As You Dare riders. We passed Last Concert Café, which had a show on the outdoor stage, and a few lucky patrons caught sight of us there. (With any luck, all that residential construction in the District will not overrun or displace Last Concert, a fixture on Nance Street for at least half a century.)

The final leg passed through East Downtown (EaDo), down St. Emanuel Street, where there were plenty of fans to cheer us on. We proceeded to SHFL to hang out there a while and eat some delicious Flaky’s pizza before returning to a closed-for-the-night Bohemeo’s. A Houston Police Department vehicle was actually parked on Polk Street near SHFL; in the absence of any complaints from the public, the officer was not there to bother anyone.

The Future—and Some Editorializing

Assuming that no major weather disasters destroy Houston over the next twelve months, the tentative date for the next big ride is 14 September 2024. There will also be another Down Underwear Solidarity Ride in March 2024, date to be determined (likely the 16th or the 30th).

Even with the miles and connectivity of protected bike lanes increasing in this city, the number of fatal auto-bike and auto-pedestrian collisions is also on the increase. This is a worrisome trend. The problems of unsafe streets, like the problems of climate disruption, will not just go away. We will continue needing something like WNBR to show the world how we feel about the destruction wrought by fossil fuels and car culture.

As happened with Shane McKinney, where there are no protected lanes, there are increases in what appear to be intentional attacks on cyclists, with the offending motorists fleeing the scene. Vehicles lacking any official license plates or legitimate dealer tags—which roam our streets and highways in absurdly high numbers—can avoid being traced after they flee. Even drivers who stay and wait for law enforcement to show up can invoke the “didn’t see ’em” defense and get away without even a traffic ticket after accidentally killing a cyclist.

But let’s be real: Cyclists bear some responsibility for their own safety as well. They need to remain observant, to make themselves visible (especially when riding at night), to steer away from possible run-ins with motor vehicles, to ride in straight lines (i.e., not weaving down the street), to occupy no more than one lane when riding in groups. They need to understand and remember that many motorists have no idea how to drive with bicycles around, get scared, and do stupid things that can get people hurt.

Two North American cities with five-syllable names, Guadalajara and Philadelphia, recently designated their dates for WNBR 2023.

Guadalajara and México City will also be sites for the second annual Día al Desnudo; see below for more details on that.

The Guadalajara WNBR facilitators have polled members of their Facebook group to decide on a date for this year’s ride. The consensus choice was 24 June. Philadelphia’s team has announced on its website that their ride will take place on the now-customary last Saturday in August, which this year is the 26th.

This brings to 16 the number of announced ride dates that we have seen. At this point, 40 days before WNBR season traditionally begins, several cities with histories of naked rides have not yet announced: These include Austin TX, Bellingham WA, Boston MA, Edmonton AB, Las Vegas NV, Ottawa ON, Seattle WA, and the birthplace of WNBR as we know it Vancouver BC.

The organizers in Columbus OH have announced that they have chosen a date in August, but as of this writing they have not yet specified which.

Día al Desnudo en CDMX y GDL

México City and Guadalajara will also be sites for a manifestation that began there last year, Día al Desnudo (Day in the Nude). On successive Saturdays (20 and 27 May), “nacktivists” in each city will parade through their respective city centers and stop for a group photo by a major landmark.

As one might imagine, most of the promotional material for Desnudo Day is in Spanish. However, organizer Héctor Martínez can answer questions via Twitter in Spanish or English.

The largest World Naked Bike Ride in the whole bike-ridin’ world has chosen the second weekend of August for this year’s event. The Portland, Oregon, ride has happened in late July for the past several years.

This will be the 20th running of the ride in PDX, one of the cities that participated in the inaugural ride in 2004. Even the COVID-19 pandemic did not prevent the event from occurring, although that summer it consisted of multiple small-group rides rather than the usual mass gathering. Recent iterations of the ride have seen as many as 10,000 riders, possibly more.

The Homepage of pdxwnbr.org has been updated with the scheduling information, although (as of this posting) several other of its pages have not been updated for a year or more. For last year’s ride, the requested that out-of-town riders not come into Portland just for the ride. That request no longer appears there; however, in the spirit of WNBR as a protest against fossil fuels and the resultant climate chaos, it’s best not to fly there or drive a personal vehicle for that purpose alone.

Also, the PDX organizers have expressed a desire to keep the ride to a manageable size and maintain the protest angle (sorry, can’t find a source for this) rather than merely having a party on wheels.

The ride also appears on the calendar for the expanded Pedalpalooza, aka Bike Summer, which lasts through June, July, and August. The organizers of PDX WNBR work in conjunction with local cycling advocacy group Bike Portland.

As of now, rides in 12 North American cities have dates selected, three of those in Canada. The New Orleans and Halifax rides do not have official FB Events or announcements on dedicated websites, but they both have (or will soon have) official flyers.

More than a dozen additional cities that have hosted rides in recent years have still not announced.

USA: Buffalo, Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, Madison, Milwaukee, Montpelier, New Orleans, and Saint Louis. San Francisco has a monthly ride scheduled for Earth Day, but not an official big ride for the summer months.

Canada: Halifax, Montreal, and Toronto.

México: ya nada.

Waiting for: Austin, Bellingham, Boston, CDMX, Columbus, Edmonton, Eugene, Guadalajara, Las Vegas, Ottawa, Philadelphia, Portland OR, Seattle, Vancouver.

WTF and Why TF Not: What’s up, Berkeley, Boulder, Burlington VT, Calgary, Denver, Ithaca NY (thx for the reminder, @YeshuahuXX2 on Twitter), Miami, Minneapolis/St. Paul, New Haven, New York, Victoria BC, Washington DC?

Any other cities in CANMEXUS that you’d think would have a ride but don’t? This includes cities where rides have taken place in the distant past, as well as cities that have never had an official WNBR.